31 Days to a Christ Centered Life

October 7, 2014

Day Two and I'm Already Tossing the Outline

This morning I woke up with the writing challenge on my mind. Somehow, I already knew without thinking about what I was going to write about. At some point, an introduction is in order and I get that. But it seems more important today for me to write about my phone and how it affects me. Also, the centering power of prayer. It's day two and I'm more than ready to put some things into practice.

If you aren't early, you're late. I'm running late!

Also, if you think you know me and you expected me to follow my outline, you might not REALLY know me. Me making plans is imperative to my peace of mind any time I start a project. Me giving myself the freedom to toss those plans is imperative to retaining that peace of mind.

Truth be told, I'm not really tossing them. I'm hanging on to them so I won't forget anything. I'm also hoping this will all come together nicely in the end and I will get a chance to say both everything I want to say and everything I feel led to say that I never knew I wanted to say until it hits me, like this morning.

So, even though I know I'm doing things a little out of order, I'm going to start with two exercises (or habits) that I feel are necessary for me personally to practice in order to start living a more Christ-centered life. These may be different for you than they are for me, so let's start with an exercise that will help you identify which areas are problems areas for you.

Let's get a writing instrument of our choosing. For me, it's a pencil.

(By the way, there is something magical about a pencil. You can create, you can design and you can communicate with a pencil. And if you create something you don't like, or if you miscommunicate something, you just erase it and start all over again! It's like it never happened. And unlike a pen, you know when your pencil's life is about over. It doesn't surprise you by quitting in the middle of something important.)

Got something to write with? Good. Make a list of everything you might do in a day. I don't mean things like "get out of bed", "brush teeth", "eat breakfast". I mean things like "check facebook", "get starbucks", "call mom", etc.  These are the things that you choose to do because they add some value to your life. Because these are where you have the most opportunities for distractions as well as faith affirmations.

(Honestly, I know half of you aren't writing any of this down. I won't complain because I know you are all just as busy as I am. If you are doing this in your head, tune out all other distractions.)

Beside each items, write a "1" if this is something you do multiple times a day. Write a "2" if this is something you do once a day. Write a "3" if this is something you do more than 3 times a week. Write a "4" is you only do this occasionally.

I won't post mine for privacy reasons. Not because I am super private, but because I can't post it without letting you know what others in my family do in an average day. And that's just not cool. BUT, what I discovered is that out of the 21 things on my list, 7 of them were done with my smart phone. A third (!) of the things I do in a typical day involves my phone.

Now, I could have gone the extra step of estimating how much time I spend on each of them, and if you feel inclined to do so, go right ahead. But I already know without any calculations that it is TOO MUCH time and that's all that really matters. Three of the seven items were done multiple times a day, 2 were done once every day and 2 were done at least three times a week. So, right away, I know that I spend a lot of time on my phone.

Aaaaaaannnnnd, my husband could have already told you this.

That is why I knew before I wrote this list that my phone is an issue I will be addressing during these 31 days and that I need to start addressing it TODAY. And by addressing it, I mean limiting it.

But do you need to limit it, too? Not necessarily. Just because you spend a lot of time on it doesn't mean you are wasting your time on unnecessary distractions. For example, my husband uses his phone and several of the apps on it for sales leads. Realistically, he needs it to do his job. And a reasonable case can be made for quality social interactions on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. But my purpose is to lead a more Christ-centered life, so I have to take a good hard honest look at how I use these social media sites.

Interactions are basically good. I think we can agree on that. Whether you use a computer or a smart phone to interact, or you talk to people face-to-face, you can't be a positive example if you do not interact with others.

Interactions can be bad. I think we can all agree on that, too. Interactions with people who influence us to do, say or feel things we regret are not good. These need to be limited or avoided.

But these aren't really the problem for me. For me, it's not what I do, say or feel on social media. It's what I am not doing, saying or feeling because of social media. Because I check social media in the morning when I wake up, I am not spending those few minutes with my husband talking about the day before us. Because I check it in the mornings, I might run the kids late for school or I might run late for work, which puts me in a bad mood and in turn, puts the rest of the house in a bad mood. Because I've gotten in the habit of checking it throughout the day, I miss opportunities to communicate with my co-workers and I run the risk of overshooting a deadline. Because I check it at home at night, I miss interacting with my kids, who grow up whether I am fully present or not, and will find ways to pass the time without me.

To be clear, I don't think social media is evil or wrong or even bad. I think it has a purpose in a Christ-centered life just like I feel you must interact with others face-to-face to live a healthy life. I just don't want it to become a priority and steal time from more important activities, like prayer. And when you do use social media, I want to use it to bring myself closer to Christ, not farther away from Him. (More about that later.)

Speaking of prayer, if I had to list the one thing I most certainly need to do more of, it would have to be prayer. Now, I pray. I pray every day when a thought strikes me that I need to pray about, BUT I don't pray out of habit. Need-based prayer is not the same as prayers of thankfulness and praise. One tries to pull Christ to you and the others draw you into Christ. Because I pray more need-based prayers than praise and thankfulness, I know that I live more in a needy world than I do a thankful world, which when you think about it is upside down. There are so many more things in this world to be thankful for than there are to grieve over. So, reaching out to Him mainly because I or someone I know NEEDS Him is not putting him at the center of my life. It is reinforcing me as the center of my life.

Think about this for a minute. When you are on Facebook, or if you aren't on Facebook, when you are speaking with someone who asks you to pray for them, you probably stop and say a prayer, right? Or if you don't, maybe your heart speaks to God asking for intervention. But what about when someone mentions a new job or the birth of a child or an engagement. How often do you stop and praise God, with your heart speaking directly to Him? "Praise God" is easy to say, but actually praising God means speaking directly to Him, at least to me it does. I don't do that enough. And that is one habit I know that I need to create, perhaps even replace with most of the time I spend on social media.

I am not going to go on a Facebook vacation. I am going to make a concerted effort to use my time wisely on social media, only participating in activities that cultivate a closer bond between me and Christ. I am going to avoid interactions with people who irritate me and only post things that encourage positive interactions. And, I am going to pay attention to my motivations when I post.

QUICK CLARIFICATION - my definition of living a Christ-centered life is one in which Christ sees a whole lot of Himself in me, not one in which others see Christ in me. I'm not concerned with managing perceptions of others. You will never be successful trying to satisfy others' requirements of living a Christian life. You don't do it for them. Their ideas are not central to your life or your salvation. Christ is the center of your life. Your salvation is brought to you by Christ, through Christ and because of Christ. It is Christ-driven. It is personal to you and Him alone. Therefore, I will not post more Christian "stuff" in order to make my profile more Christian-like. That is not in any way authentic. Leading others to Christ comes as a direct result of the personal relationship you have with Him, in my opinion. It has to come first for me. If I post more of anything, it will be because I can relate to it and it affects me or I feel led to do so.

So, those are the next two steps I will be taking in my 31 days to a Christ-centered life. Cut down on the social media and use it more wisely, and make prayer more of a habit in all situations.


I'd love to hear your feedback. Thanks for reading!


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October 6, 2014

The Writing Challenge that Almost Never Happened

It was late on a Monday when I heard about the 31 Days Writing Challenge. I had recently begun to write again. Nothing major, just a few posts here and there. The timing seemed right and I was looking to make a major change in my spiritual life. Being drawn to a Christ-centered life now more than ever, I felt that this writing challenge would help me along in the process. So, I signed up for it not expecting what was about to happen.

Because you see, what I was expecting was a cleansing of my selfish habits and a strengthening of my faith. Based on my expectations, I created an outline of the posts I would write about - one per day for 31 days. My outline looked like this:

Day 1 - Introduction (Story of my life)
Day 2 - Taking inventory of my daily activities (Do they allow opportunities to give glory to God in everything I do? If yes, keep it. If no, get rid of it. Can't delete it? Change how I do it.)
Day 3 - Examine my marriage
Day 4 - Examine my job
Day 5 - Examine my extracurricular activities
Day 6 - Examine my hobbies
Day 7 - How to get past myself
Day 8 - More about what led me to do this
Day 9 - Why does Christ want to be the Center of our Lives?
Day 10 - Exercises
Day 11 - My 1st Progress Report
Day 12 - Reactions I've Received
Day 13 - What has helped and what has hindered me
Day 14 - How it feels
Day 15 - Examples of Christ-centered Lives from the Bible
Day 16 - Prayers to pray during this time
Day 17 - Let it be a consuming fire
Day 18 - The strengthening of humility
Day 19 - The strengthening of obedience
Day 20 - The strengthening of service
Day 21 - The strengthening of faith
Day 22 - My 2nd Progress Report
Day 23 - Reactions
Day 24 - The strengthening of Love
Day 25 - The strengthening of Forgiveness
Day 26 - What has changed for good
Day 27 - Where I fail
Day 28 - What moving forward looks like
Day 29 - More prayers to pray
Day 30 - People who inspire me with their Christ-centered lives
Day 31 - Giving God the glory in everything (Summary)

Then, the next day, my sweet dog, Bobo, went missing.

I tried not to sink into a worrisome pit of anxiety. I tried to keep a positive attitude. Bobo had a collar on with my phone number on it. He was coming home as soon as someone stopped to check his collar. I just knew it!

Bobo was coming home as soon as I passed by the right house where he had stopped because someone left cat food on the front porch or had been especially nice to him. As soon as I passed by and saw him barking at me, he was coming home. I just knew it!

Oh, of course, I prayed, but my prayers were weak. Bobo was my dog and missing him was like missing one of my children, but he had gotten out of the house and wandered away before. I tried to joke about how he was going to get an ear-full when I saw him again. That crazy dog!

Tuesday came and went with no sign of Bobo. No one called and left a message on my voice mail letting me know they had seen him. None of the homes I passed had him wagging his tail in the front yard. I grew a little more worried and my searches started feeling desperate. But that just meant that he was going to get two ear-fulls when I saw him again!

Then Wednesday came and went and I began to fear the worst. I started thinking that since he most likely made it to the street, someone had to have seen him by now. And if they did, they had to have seen his collar and my phone number. And if they did and had not called me yet, odds are likely they weren't planning on calling me at all. I live in a place where dogs are abandoned at an alarming rate. I couldn't imagine someone keeping a dog that obviously belonged to someone else when there are SO MANY starving and sick that need homes in the area.

Also, Wednesday was the day that I was supposed to start the writing challenge, but honestly, I didn't feel like writing. I tried to write, but my mind could only concentrate on what would bring Bobo home and in my mind at the time, that was off-topic. Besides, how could I keep my positive attitude if I write about it? Writing about it would do nothing but convince me of the worst possible outcome - that being that Bobo was never coming home.

Then Thursday came. This was the day that I started knocking on neighbors' doors and posting his picture on Facebook yard sale sites. I live in a very rural area and other than one neighbor who lives about 1500 feet away from my driveway, all of my neighbor's are far enough away that the likelihood of Bobo ending up there was slim to none. But it was the only thing I had not tried, so I tried it with no success.

Then, that afternoon, my husband found Bobo curled up next a log. He had passed away, most likely the day he went missing.

Up until the week I was to write about living a Christ-centered life, my life was full of joy. At least, it had been for a little over a year. Not that everything was perfect. Not by any means, but everything was better than it had ever been in my life and I was truly, seriously, irrefutably happy. I was drawing closer to Christ every day and the problems in my life had begun falling away brick by sinful brick. I had begun to believe that my spiritual journey was creating in me a happiness that no one and nothing could break. And in truth, nothing has broken that and nothing will.

But sadness (and suffering) does happen, much to my dismay.

It's not that I thought that every day would be blessings upon blessings. It's just that I never actually stopped to think about those blessings being seemingly "taken away" from me. In the past, I can say that most of my sadness was due to my separation from Christ, poor decisions and things beyond my control that were in fact, sins against me. I always seemed to have someone to blame in the past. Me, others, or God.

But now.... now when tragedy strikes, when I am trying to live a Christ-centered life.... when I know better.... SO MUCH BETTER.....and I am not to blame and others are not to blame...... will my old habit of blaming God surface?

It could have, but it didn't. For once in my life, I experienced grief and loss with gratitude and humility rather than bitterness and anger. I didn't clench my fist and say, "God, why me?!? Haven't I been through enough?!?"

For once, I prayed to God for his peace, being thankful for the days I had with Bobo, for being blessed enough to be his human, for the happy memories I will always have with him and for the comfort of knowing that if dogs do go to heaven, he is now reunited with his original owner. And for once, I felt grief as a temporary emotion. It wasn't something I could add to the other grievances I had piled up in the back of mind. It was a time for letting go and moving on.

A Time for Everything

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

 

1 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
² A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
³ A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
⁴ A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
⁵ A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
⁶ A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
⁷ A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
⁸ A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.

And I think it is something that I need to remember for the next time something happens that is beyond my control. We as Christians sometimes think that we deserve blessings, when in fact, we are nothing more than sinners who have chosen to serve a loving God. Because we sin every day, because we fail, we are always short of his glory. Just to be able to wake up and breathe in the morning air, to be able to see the first light of the day and restore our bodies with sleep are blessings we often overlook. Sinners expect these things. Christ-centered repenters rejoice in them.

I am fully aware of how unworthy I am and how God has chosen to overlook this and to bless me with many more blessings than I deserve. Maybe this awareness is the first step in MY journey to living a Christ-centered life. Being angry and needing someone to blame is putting me at the center of my life. And that is not the life I wish to live anymore.

"More of him, less of me."